One of the most profound aspects of my practice is having the honor of accompanying individuals and families on their journey of fertility. My patients find me at every juncture of their process; when hope is high, when everyone is tired of hoping, when things are brand new, or it’s been a really long haul. I’m a first call and also a last resort. No matter where we begin our consultation and collaboration, most folks come in with a lot weighing on them. Procreation is intense, personal, holy, messy, emotional, frustrating, mysterious, devastating and can be simultaneously life giving and life changing. My primary role is to make a space for everyone concerned to feel held, heard, and empowered. My job is to uphold the belief that all things are possible, and to encourage each individual to reclaim and create their own journey according to their own narrative and on their own terms.
When I had my own children, it was certainly on my own terms, and at the right time for me. That was not necessarily the timing my Haitian upbringing indicated, nor was it “right on time” for most societal norms. I know the pressures that come at you from all sides and even from very unexpected places when family planning is on the table, or off. As a Black woman I also deeply understand issues of trust and the difficulty we statistically encounter being heard, our bodies valued, and our needs cared for. The process of getting and remaining pregnant, and the journey of being pregnant is overwhelming, vulnerable and very POWERFUL. I am proud to say that I have chosen when to stop having children, and this too is a season of life and health that I honor and have embraced.
Paradigms are shifting, and our understanding of what makes a family, and what defines the timing of that is evolving. Our bodies, however, are still our bodies. In my experience the best thing you can possibly do in preparation for a fertility journey is find a tribe; your team, your village. Then acknowledge and leave shame, blame, regret and the exterior scripts that do not serve you outside of that circle of power and safety. Refocusing on what and who truly matters and honoring your unique journey will prepare you for the more physical steps. We can then begin to nurture and prepare your vessel to be as unencumbered, as healthy and as receptive as possible.
You arrive; you tell me where you are on your path. I deeply listen.
Then, together, we make a plan.
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